I think for a very long time, the idea of self-care was closely associated with bubble baths and getting your hair done and other luxuries that maybe not everyone wanted. I know I use to believe that self-care was centered around beauty routines or different ways to improve your appearance. I’m not really sure where that belief came from, but I am guessing a lot of other people have it too.
With this belief, I think self-care is a turn off for a lot of people or seen as a luxury rather than a necessity. Why would someone waste their time with a bubble bath if they don’t find it relaxing at all? I want to end this stigma around beauty being the focus of self-care because in reality, self-care is whatever you need to help improve your life and your well-being. While I love to take baths and find them so relaxing, my husband is not going to take a bath to wind down at night. He prefers to watch TV or videos while I feel like I need to be doing something while watching TV, which makes it not as relaxing for me.
My point is that no one’s self-care is going to look the same, and that’s totally okay. No one should feel bad because they don’t feel relaxed doing something that someone else feels is relaxing. In society where everyone is showing their highlight reel (aka their perfect social media life), it can be easy to compare what you like to what other people like. There should be no comparison between different peoples self-care because you should be tailoring your own self-care to what you need.
Now, because everyone is so different, there are a couple of things that will shape and determine your self-care. Some of them are obvious, while others may disappoint somewhat. Either way, it is important to find self-care that works for you and that you find enjoying! Here are some things that shape your self-care:
Likes and Dislikes
This one is pretty obvious since I preached about it above. You need to be doing the things that you like and serve you. Like I said before, if you can’t stand taking bubble baths, stay out of the bath tub. Find something that you love to do that will help refresh your mind and rejuvenate your soul. There are seriously so many things!
I also said you need to be doing things that serve you. I say this because not every form of self-care is enjoyable and therefore it may not be very likable. Doing personal development and shadow work on past issues may no be what you rush home to do, but they are important in bettering yourself.
Personality
Your personality is going to very much determine what type of self-care you need. Typically when I thing of self-care, I think of doing things by myself. I am an introvert so I need time to decompress by myself. An extrovert might not like to be alone and need self-care in the form of a day with friends or a date night with their spouse. It just depends on what type of personality you have and what you need.
Time and Money
I wanted to add these two in here not to deter people from self-care but for people to make realistic self-care choices. I’ll start with time. Self-care is so important (check out my post here!) and everyone should be making time for it. Having said that, if you work a typical nine to five, have a commute, have two kids, have animals to take care of, and everyday tasks that need to be done, don’t try to cram in five hours of self-care a day. It’s unrealistic and it’s not going to happen. When you set intentional time for self-care, I think you will be surprised at how much better you can feel in thirty, even fifteen minutes. Also, if you can get sufficient self-care done in ten minutes, there is no need to stretch it to thirty minutes. Some night all the time I have is to do a quick ten minute face mask and that’s okay.
And now money. Do not put yourself into debt doing self-care. It will only stress you out and void any of the benefits self-care can give you. I say this because in the social media world, there are a lot of people preaching self-care with their very fancy gadgets. I am seeing a lot of red lights and the amazing benefits of them, but those lights are around $600. I don’t have $600 to spend on a light but that does not mean I can’t practice meaningful self-care. Please, start with what you have, the time you have, and adjust accordingly as your needs and lifestyle change.
These are some big areas that might shape self-care for different people. While there are plenty of other things that I could list, they are all intertwined and ultimately come down to the individual. Since self-care can be a little overwhelming and there are an infinite amount of things that qualify as self-care, I wanted to leave you with a few self-care ideas! I hope these are helpful and feel free to list your favorite self-care practice in the comments!
- Work out
- Read a book
- Take a walk
- Meal prep
- Bath
- Nails
- Watch a movie/TV show
- Call or go see a friend
- Journal/ write
- Work on your hobby
- Clean
- Listen to a podcast
- Meditate
- Plan
- Yoga
- Sit in a sauna
- Listen to music
- Cook/ bake
- Hike/ get in nature
- Shopping
- Look at finances
- Drink some tea, or coffee, or beer, whatever you prefer!